I should now call him the squash fucker!!!! Yes indeed, lol. I attempted to get him to purchase a mango and fuck that because from what I am told mangos feel like a pussy. But I got this email from him

Not to brag or anything (me? brag?), but I was at the supermarket the other day and I don’t think a mango is big enough. Plus, I think it would be a bitch to get the pit out while keeping the “sugar walls” intact.

However … I did see a gourd-like squash that looked kind of interesting … I could definitely imagine humping it as you giggled and breathlessly urged me on …

First I laughed My ass off about him thinking his weenie wouldn’t fit in a mango and it made me wonder if he in fact was looking at a mango, hmmm. So, I told him to get whatever the hell he thought would work as long as it wasn’t another bananna. A few hours later My phone rang and he was all ready to pop the cherry of a squash!!! OMG I am still laughing hysterically about this. This is what he did to it to prepare for his squash fucking session:
make hole in end of squash
hollow out hole a bit with a spoon
place squash in microwave
heat up a bit
call

Now I was asking him if the damned thing was too hot to fuck, you know like all those morons who went and fucked a hot apple pie after seeing “American Pie” and burning the living fuck out of their weenies. I was assured that it wasn’t too hot by him, makes Me wonder how he knew already. Anyhow he set it on the couch and popped in a porn and lubed up and away he went fucking that squash and popping it’s cherry. Of course it was another round of whispering sweet nothings to the squash like he did that peel.

I am seriously thinking of telling him to send Me pics of his weenie because I want to see what the hell he thinks won’t fit in a mango.

Goddess Clair